Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg šš
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize