There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
