I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I believe in your delicious
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
