Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
