i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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