Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
