is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
