he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
