I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize