lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
