I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Randomize
