I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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