the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
