Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
