My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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