I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
