I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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