he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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