You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
