her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize