dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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