This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
