how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
