the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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