Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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