THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
