i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize