Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
