Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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