This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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