508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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