508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
