Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So much rum. So many feels.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
