i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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