You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
