had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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