i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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