Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
