I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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