thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
love makes seman taste better
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
