he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom