Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks

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(704): you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks http://tfl.nu/c3vj

Replies (49) Good night (4642) Bad night (1393)
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(972): View more from Texas

P.S. I can't hear my feet

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(972): P.S. I can't hear my feet http://tfl.nu/z4b9

Replies (21) Good night (4327) Bad night (794)
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(478): View more from Georgia

I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell

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(478): I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell http://tfl.nu/mqh8

Replies (29) Good night (6479) Bad night (808)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge

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(704): I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge http://tfl.nu/naaa

Replies (21) Good night (6936) Bad night (638)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.

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(678): I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night. http://tfl.nu/yws8

Replies (9) Good night (8706) Bad night (1031)
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(586): View more from Michigan

he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.

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(586): he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great. http://tfl.nu/bqct

Replies (12) Good night (1590) Bad night (3506)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice

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(608): im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice http://tfl.nu/dly6

Replies (15) Good night (3218) Bad night (1447)
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(415): View more from California

We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.

(916): View more from California

Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.

(415): View more from California

HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.

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(415): We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002. (916): Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening. (415): HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone. http://tfl.nu/fe9v

Replies (15) Good night (1908) Bad night (809)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room

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(412): Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room http://tfl.nu/5tlt

Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (553)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry

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(803): He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry http://tfl.nu/mcy0

Replies (4) Good night (444) Bad night (1317)
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(408): View more from California

We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar

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(408): We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar http://tfl.nu/h9fi

Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (431)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?

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(832): So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid? http://tfl.nu/r78n

Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (728)
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(925): View more from California

Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.

(650): View more from California

Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.

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(925): Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to. (650): Its a good thing to know for upcoming events. http://tfl.nu/a1ga

Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (413)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

Sex is clearly the solution either way.

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(608): Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored. (1-608): Sex is clearly the solution either way. http://tfl.nu/07hm

Replies (2) Good night (1321) Bad night (521)
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(906): View more from Michigan

Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.

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(906): Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river. http://tfl.nu/kdjr

Replies (0) Good night (251) Bad night (384)

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