oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
