Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
