once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
