They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
