i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
