I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Randomize
