I just made out with a guy for $7.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
