There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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