Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
