everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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