i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
