there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize