i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
