Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
