Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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