talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
