she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
