It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Life is so much better after having sex.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize