i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
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I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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