Do you still have your period?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
