brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
