honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
