i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
