Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
