i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Terrible idea I love it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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