i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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