He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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