The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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